Part Deux - Grik Returns to the Scene of the Crime

I arrived at the airport with one trip under my belt, brimming with confidence. I marched up to the first ATM and got the message “invalid card”. My card is certainly not invalid, it is very valid indeed. So I went to the information center to ask them about another ATM, and, true to form, the young lady abandoned her post to come and personally get me my money. I said “You know, Information Desk people in the USA don’t come out to actually help you.” She got a puzzled look on her face, so I dropped the topic right there.

Anyway, she got me my money and I set sail for the train station and off I went downtown. Remarkably, I made my way out of the train station and found my hotel immediately much to my delight and surprise.

I was greeted by 3 smiling Front Desk people all in a little row, all staring at me and smiling and giggling like I was a rock star or something. Everywhere I have been in Japan made me think I had died and returned as Michael Buble, with everyone swooning at my very words, begging to assist me in any way possible, and eager to please. No exaggeration, that’s how the Japanese are.

Those grinning Front Desk people assigned me my room, I went upstairs, opened the door, and my first reaction was “I can’t sleep in this broom closet.” You walked in and there was a teeny weeny bathroom, toilet on the left (more on this later) that came almost to the door on an angle to save space, sink in the middle, then a shower about 4 feet long (which was the length of the bathroom). That was it: 4 by 4.

The room was those 4 feet plus a 6.5 ‘ bed plus the headboard (another foot?), then another 12” at the foot of the bed. So, I guess the entire was about 4 meters long and 3 meters wide. When I stood beside the bed and stretched my arms out sideways, I was about 2 feet or so from being able to touch both walls.

The bed was a smallish double bed, bigger than a normal single, which would be too small for me, but smaller than a normal double if I’m not mistaken: perfect for two little Japanese people, because, remember, this was a real Japanese hotel, not a gringo hotel. So was the price: it was higher on Friday and Saturday, but including Sunday (cheap) it was about $65 per night. Awesome!

The rest of the room was fascinating because it was a lesson in how to efficiently use space. The desk was about 6 feet long, against the wall opposite the bed, and about a foot and a half thick. It had a small TV, flat screen high-def that looked like a computer monitor, a small fridge, and enough space to put a laptop.

The other item of note is that the hotel walls were grey concrete. Most important thing in a hotel is to be able to SLEEP without being interrupted. Very clever design.

Now onto that toilet. Holy shit, it had gears, levers, motors, sprayers, you name it, it had it. It tells something about the Japanese values. They sleep in little rooms, but their toilets are constructed with the most sophisticated engineering and design. No wonder everyone drives their cars!

From Kyoto, bit of Osaka July 3, 2010

That was the room. I loved it and look forward to returning. It wasn’t hard at all to adapt to the size, I was surprised, because I usually need a LOT of space in general.

After check-in I went looking for the grocery store to buy snacks, sushi for breakfast, and water and wine. I was pretty sure I knew my way around the train station, but I was sadly mistaken. It was ugly. It's like Grand Central station times 10 with no signs, since I couldn't read most of them. I wandered around and around and finally said to myself THAT'S IT, I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER! I went to a kiosk, bought a pen, scrounged some paper off an understanding lady, and went to work. The funniest part was when I was prototyping it, people kept walking up to me and asking me if I needed help. All kinds of people, little old ladies, men, hot young babes, very hilarious. When they saw the map some of them freaked out too. What is this barbarian wandering around with a homemade map for, they wondered? I drafted the map, then put it in PowerPoint, and emailed it to the Reception. They printed it out and gathered in a circle to gawk and point at it and me with great admiration.

From Osaka JR Railway Station Map

That first night I headed straight for the warren of bars around my hotel and had a bite and a couple of beers. I found a “tapas” place, which had individual servings of meat, vegetables, and starch in all different formats, just like they do in Spain. It was awesome because I grabbed some eggplant and weird vegetables to go with my squid skewers. The locals were impressed! I have wandered that maze endlessly looking for this place again, but have never found it. If you run into it, please let me know.

From Kyoto, bit of Osaka July 3, 2010

Next morning I was up with the sun at 0500 ish (the days are very long there in summer, it’s a lot more north than the weather would indicate), which was a good thing because it was around 90 degrees with tons of humidity, and out the door and on the 08:11 train from track 5 to Kyoto. Great, because it was Saturday morning and the Train station was a little less hectic than during the weekdays. But, not much less hectic and it wouldn’t stay that way for long.

Got to Kyoto and of course had a coffee at the French coffee place in the middle of the train station and gawked. Lots of cute girls in their 40s, a definite vibe of curiosity coming my way, I guess because I was alone, but I didn’t attempt to speak to any of them. Next time I will! The train station is incredible, never seen anything like it, multi-storied open architecture, shopping, awesome design, really one-of-a-kind, a tourist attraction on it’s own.

From Osaka and Kyoto 2010-04-24

I went downstairs into the underground shopping mall and took the subway two stops to Gojo, got off and of course I knew where the market should be, but not which direction I was facing when I got to street level again. Then the name of the market and the word for the market both slipped my mind at once! Ishiki is the name and it means “market” but I could not for the life of me remember. No worries, when in Japan, just ask! Anybody! Anything! Just take your pick:

1. What is the real symbolism of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? Or
2. Why did you really attack Pearl Harbor? (not recommended) or
3. Where the hell is the big-ass market?

So I saw an innocent-looking women and ATTACKED. She had no idea what I was talking about, so I switched to gesturing. Didn’t work either. Then a guy came along and he joined in the pantomime. If that took place at home I would have been arrested for sure. Finally, I got my message across and they pointed me in the right direction.

It started raining cats and dogs, no kidding. I dawned my poncho and forged ahead, finally hitting the almost-empty market. It has EVERYTHING, best market I’ve ever seen. Grabbed a breakfast-on-the go of a crab cake followed by sashimi a few stalls further down. What a way to start the day!

From Kyoto, bit of Osaka July 3, 2010

This time around I did blow the whole day in the market. I had noticed on my first visit that there were covered arteries running off the long main one and there were endless little shops and such.

Jumped on the subway, then on the train back to Osaka, no worries, travel is as smooth as glass in Japan. After resting up I went to Dotonburi canal and the huge mechanical crab and all the cool young people and canals and bars and so on.

From Osaka Dotonburi 07 04 2010

Quite the deal, there were TONS of people there, you could hardly walk. Really, it wasn’t my thing, but it was interesting to watch all the goings-on. I went to many streets full of bars, but they seemed to be hostess bars, I could tell by the names of them (Darling, Honey, etc.) and the posters outside of hot babes in skimpy clothing. I’ve been around way too much to fall for that trick LOL. Some of them posted entrance fees of $60 or $70 dollars!

From Osaka Dotonburi 07 04 2010

Next day I jumped on the train and went to Kobe. Of course I had heard about the huge earthquake many years ago and the famous Kobe beef, but recently I had read about a Foreign Settlement in Kobe and wanted to check it out.

The downtown also has a long covered shopping street, which was really beautiful with all the shops so tastefully decorated and everyone strolling around.

From Kobe 7/4/2010

I continued on to the Foreign Settlement, which is how it is referred to on the town map. Fascinating place, with a ton of Chinese stuff, and, most intriguing, a French presence as well. Everybody was walking with food from the stalls, eating in restaurants, or sitting around the big fountain in the middle of the old square.

From Kobe 7/4/2010

Since I was there, I decided to chow down on some Kobe beef and went to a little restaurant. For 18 bucks, you got a little sliver of beef but wow was it ever delicious! Melt in your mouth stuff, but they need to work on the portions. Of course, to get a true Kobe steak would cost you over 100 bucks, but I wasn’t that curious!

The rest of the trip was uneventful although every trip to that warren of restaurants around the train station is a treat! Went looking for that tapas place and, naturally, couldn’t find it. I went around and around, convinced it was just around the next corner, but it was not. However, I found an interesting-looking large place full of men eating and swilling beer and went in. This place was quite cool, everything served was fried and on skewers. I try to stay away from fried, but it’s hard to avoid on vacation. They had fish and squid and chicken and an assortment of fried vegetables. There were troughs of cabbage that you could just grab as you ate your skewers. There were also huge troughs of soy sauce, one of the staff could speak English and instructed me to “dip only once”. Hahaha. They are charming but quite anal in so many ways. The place was chock-a-block full and I noticed how much the Japanese like to enjoy life when they finally aren’t working. They really let go, I can imagine they need to, there is a lot of stress going on under all that charm and grace.

From Kyoto, Osaka 9/5/2010

My next challenge is to draw a map of the warren of restaurants, but that’s going to be a challenge, because hardly anything is English. Maybe I’ll eat in every one and map them as I go?

The myth is that Japan is expensive, of course it can be, almost anywhere can if you try hard enough. But, just like anywhere, there are cheap ways to do stuff and still get high value. My whizzbang hotel is a perfect example, it’s only about 50 bucks except on some weekends and it is perfect as you already know. Has everything including location, but I’ve never seen a gringo in the place.

Here’s another example: In the Umeda train station, which is right next door to the JR station, there is an open bar right in the middle of the place that sells draft beer for 3 bucks. 3 bucks! It’s a perfect place to people watch, which really means babe watch. Couldn’t beat it with a stick. Then, of course, it’s easy to eat virtually anywhere for 10 bucks or less. So, not including transportation, which is relatively pricy, you can easily do Japan for less than 100 bucks a day. That’s hard to do in most cities in the USA or Canada and pretty well impossible in Europe.

From Kyoto, Osaka 9/5/2010

So, another tough trip in First Class and back home already with another trip cooking up for Japan in September.

I had been flirting with several ideas for Labor Day, namely Seoul (haven’t been there in a while), Tokyo (even made hotel reservations, then canceled them), and Singapore (long story). Finally, the planes were filling up and Osaka was still open. I have to admit, I really like the First Class travel, with the impending merger with Continental it won’t last forever, and Osaka is usually open, so back I went.

It was a snap to organize, here is the itinerary:

1. Day 1 SFO to KIX Osaka Airport
2. Day 2 arrive late afternoon
3. Jump on the bus (not the train) bound for JR Osaka station
4. Jump off the bus and walk around the block to the hotel and check-in where they will be waiting for me as if I was Buble.
5. Hang out in the warren of restaurants in the evening.
6. Walk over to the JR station in the morning and buy a ticket to Hiroshima and go.
7. Stay at the place I organized using AsiaRooms.
8. Back to JR and leave my stuff while I go to Kyoto for the afternoon.
9. Enjoy the market in Kyoto and sit around the Café du Monde in the train station and watch people.
10. Back to Osaka and the warren.
11. Go home the next afternoon, arrive the same morning.
12. Substitute Hiroshima for somewhere else and do it again! Nagoya is on my mind, not sure why. I canceled the Tokyo part because it just sounds so hectic, and I needed something less stressful. I’ll do it another time.

The trip sounds incredibly short, but now that I’m used to the 3.5 day jaunts, it’s the way to go. You can pack so much in, you just have to be organized and able to sleep in the planes, which isn’t hard to do in a First Class sleeper.

From 2010-06-09

So, the third time around I arrived and it was painless per the itinerary above. I arrived at the hotel and of course they were all waiting for me. It was surreal; they even gave me the same room!! I had told them I loved that room (they are all the same I’m sure, but Asians are very literal) so they gave it back! Haha!

I went over to the Ikaro food store to buy my breakfast, fruit juice, and a bottle of wine for a nightcap. The only problem was that my map had become slightly obsolete in two months because they were doing renovations to the station, so I made a couple of wrong turns before finding my way. Came back, got organized and hit the warren of restaurants. Unfortunately, I could not find the tapas place but I did find the skewers place, it was yummy once again.

Up at 0500 the next morning, opened my work email, which was a mistake, and discovered an urgent email conversation going on between my bosses about my big project, so I answered their questions and went for a long coffee before heading to Hiroshima on the bullet train.

First, when it’s really hot, don’t go up to the train tracks until you have to, it was almost overwhelming. I really thought at one point I was going to fall over. Everyone was drenched with sweat, the Japanese carry towels to wipe themselves off when it gets super hot. Finally, the train came, and off I went in air-conditioned comfort to Hiroshima.

I have to point out how sexy the women are. Honestly, they have it down perfectly, the younger ones with heavy make-up and doll-like faces and hot pants and sexy stockings. Some of them are sultry and aloof:

From Hiroshima Saturday September 4, 2010

Some are more obviously looking for attention:

From Hiroshima Saturday September 4, 2010

Obviously, a lot of these hot babes are driving the men nuts, because I discovered this notification where you board the train:

From Kobe 7/4/2010

The young men are interesting too, they go for the Elvis Costello "I'm completely unique" look, but, since they are nearly all doing it, they end up looking the same anyway, such are young people and their fads I guess.

From Kobe 7/4/2010

The First Trip

Part one took place in April 2010, when I invited my good friend Glenn Meier to go with me for a 5-day visit. The trip started out to have a beer-swilling baseball tone to it, but it slowly morphed into a cultural experience, full of sightseeing and temples and so on.

From Osaka 2010-04-23

We stayed in the Hyatt after some shrewd negotiations. I explained that I knew it was United’s business hotel in Osaka and that I was going with a friend on a pleasure trip in April. They countered, saying that if we would wait until later in the month, after the Cherry Blossoms, they could give us super-cheap rooms. So we did, and they did. It was not my type of hotel to say the very least: After hundreds of business trips to similar hotels, I always try to find something with a local flair to it, not some concrete jungle with elevator music playing everywhere. Blecccch. Also had lots of weird-looking gringos walking around. Blecccch. The location was somewhat out of the way, down by the harbor with the port and ships and all that stuff. Out of the way, but still cool. Not knowing anything about Japan and being responsible for my buddy meant that the Hyatt was a good bet. They had more knobs and switches in my bedroom than a Maserati, plus the place was quiet and the people were frighteningly efficient. At first I thought – wow, who are these people? Bowing and smiling and carrying on without the slightest provocation. We thought we’d died and come back as rock stars or something.

When we got away from the hotel, we realized that EVERYONE is like that in Japan: friendly, helpful, polite, and efficient. They are perfect. You could just give each and every one of them a big hug. They beat the crap out of the Swiss, Germans, and northern Europeans, who can’t be efficient without being curt, arrogant, and downright grumpy at times. Reminds me that they always have to brag about their customs: “Vell, in Deutschland, ve alvays pour our shnapps down our noses, ja.” Who cares? The Japanese just suck it up and hand you a fork with a big smile just in case you can't use chopsticks. They know we are uncivilized; they don’t need to rub it in. In fact, they even call us “gaijin”, which means “gringo” (any westerner with white skin), but actually translates as “savage”. Haha.

We arrived at the airport and found a cash machine that finally worked and a train to take us downtown since we decided to try the train right away instead of taking the hotel bus. Bad idea: The train was super slow and we finally jumped off to take a taxi to the hotel, which wasn’t so far away. The only problem was we couldn’t get out of the damned train station. Somehow I put my ticket in the machine that takes the tickets back and opens the door so you can get out without actually getting out. Finally, a station guard took sympathy after he saw us lap the place about five times and let us out!

We checked in to the Hyatt and went scouting around the nearby Port Town for something to eat. I loved it – gave me a bit of a vibe for the people. We found some really cool little neighborhood restaurants that were quite fun and provided our evening’s entertainment. It was either that or sit in the piano bar getting sloshed with a bunch of businessmen. So, we ate at one of those little places each night, then went back to the hotel, which worked out well since we covered a lot of miles each day.

The first day we discovered the hotel had a shuttle bus that would take us right downtown to the main Japan Railways Osaka Station, which was perfect, since we knew we wanted to check out nearby locations such as Kyoto, only 30 minutes away by train.

So, off we went, driven by a guy wearing white gloves and a spiffy uniform, who bowed about 5 times every time he saw us or a word was exchanged. He was perfect, and drove perfectly, spoke perfectly, and bowed perfectly.

The real fun started when we arrived at the train station and started wandering around. I’d never seen anything like it, swarms of people rushing in all directions. Thousands and thousands. The place is huge and built like a maze. We wandered around and around trying to figure it out but couldn’t: “Wait a minute, didn’t we see that old man sitting there 15 minutes ago? Haven’t we gone around in a circle?

The highlight was the bus-hailing guy, who also wore white gloves and was also perfect. He liked us so much he reached into his bag and gave us chocolates. I keep looking for him each time I come back, but he must have been promoted or something LOL.

From Osaka April 21, 010

In fact, we spent the bulk of the entire first DAY in that darned train station, such a mess it was. We never did really figure it out but we managed to accidentally find things later when we looked for them. Finally, we limped on to the bus completely exhausted and crawled back to our gringo hotel and safety.

From Osaka April 21, 010

Not sure what we did which day actually: I think we hung out in Osaka the second day, went to the Umeda Sky Building, wandered around, and lunched in a restaurant with 7 or 8 seats in total. Very cool. By and large the people are conformists - nearly every man wears the same bloody dark blue suit with white shirt and dark tie. The young people all dye their hair that brown-orange color, which actually looks nice. But, when it comes to restaurants, they are individuals, that’s for sure. I note with great delight that there is a noticeable absence of large chain restaurants that have ruined, together with chain hotels, drug stores, Sprawlmarts and such, what little culture we ever had in the USA. Not so in Japan, but more on this later.

From Osaka 2010-04-23

Then we went to Kyoto, where for me the market was the highlight of the first trip. Just a nice vibe to it, pleasant, a few coffee shops spaced out throughout the place, really nice. Of course, that market was HUGE. The main entrance and covered market street must be 4 or 500 yards long. Then, there are several arteries the same length or slightly shorter. You could easily blow the whole day wandering around the place. Kyoto is only about 30 minutes from Osaka on a fast regional train, so you could go every day if you want.

From Osaka and Kyoto 2010-04-24

One evening we went to a baseball game in the Kyocera Dome. I loved the cultural differences and the way they cheered and their concept of junk food and so on, but I didn’t think the game was that interesting or maybe we were both tired.

From Osaka and Kyoto 2010-04-24

We went back to Kyoto on more day, to visit the Kinkakuji Golden Temple, which was very impressive. The visitors were very respectful and the whole site was well preserved and spotless. Very cool and worth the trek to the outskirts of Kyoto.

From Kyoto 2010-04-28

The train station in Kyoto is a destination all on it’s own. Never seen anything like it, it’s an architectural wonder about 15 or 20 stories high with cool shapes and escalators and open spaces all over. Very impressive.

From Osaka and Kyoto 2010-04-24

So, those are the headlines on part one, a very cool and fun trip. My main objective in any part one is to get a vibe for who the people are and how they live, and decide if I would like to return. Obviously, the answer was yes!

Problem was I didn’t have the name of the hotel that I had discovered on a side street right near the Osaka Train Station, but, hilariously, Glenn had taken a photo of a garbage truck (that family is into garbage in a big way LOL) which had the name of the hotel I wanted, so I was all set for Part Deux.

The big deal with the hotel near the main Train Station was this: In every city, you have to have your favorite place to stay, your headquarters, where you feel comfy, in the right neighborhood with the right price and surroundings. As I said, for me, it must be local. When I say that I mean it must have local features and customs embedded in the hotel, so that you always know which country you’re in. The traveler’s worst nightmare is to wake up not knowing where he is because the megacorporations have succeeded in making everywhere look the same. As a lifelong business travel boy, I can honestly say I’ve woken up many times not being able to figure out where I was. Blecch.

Anyway, I had checked out this smallish hotel downtown and made a reservation with them. I basically wanted to do a replay of the first trip, meaning some Osaka and of course Kyoto, plus a bit of Kobe and some nightlife. I am far removed from my bar-hopping days, but I still was very curious to see what goes on after dark.